Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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