I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
