3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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