Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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