Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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