There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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