everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
