Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Dignity is for republicans.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
