i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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