I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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