So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
