your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize