Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Randomize
