Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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