so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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