i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
