Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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