So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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