Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
