did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
