This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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