got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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