He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
