i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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