For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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