I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
this boner is exhausting
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
