id be glad to
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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