Banned from zoo.
Again?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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