playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize
