I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
