i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
