Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
