My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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