Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
one two three fourrrrnication!
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
