We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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