you would pick up someone in the library
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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