am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize