Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
