The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
