Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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