My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
