Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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