He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
