3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
