Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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