margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
