Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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