she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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