I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
we're so committed to being not committed
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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