My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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