definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
