Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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