So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
