Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
