Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
