i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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