grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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