So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
