Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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