areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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